so it begins.

they say the first step towards recovery is acceptance. i'm not so sure. while it's true that i've helplessly accepted my shameless reliance on the antm conglomerate, i've long abandoned the impulse to distance myself from tyra's chameleon-esque weaves, or the theatrical weekly shitshow that dubs itself "panel," or even the delusion-fueled "photoshoots" & "teaches" in which a collection of pitiful, witless waifs are prompted to participate.

i miss the low-budget days when the girls were young & starving, when tyty used to chat with them over dinner & pop in for a casual slumber party, long before antm acquired its cruel stigma, scaring recognizable fashion names away & replacing them with a revolving array of cronies from the incestuous antm archives. now no j-dix prodding girls towards bulimia, no shandi weepingly repenting her hot-tub sex sesh, no go-sees where marc bouwer measures an insecure girl's hips. the only thing remaining is my undying addiction/devotion, which has enchanted me to push my inexhaustible supply of bitchy commentary into a blog format.

here's how it'll work: tomorrow, expect a post on last week's episode (5), followed by another on this week's (6). after that i'll systematically move backwards through the season, documenting & ridiculing all that i please & more than you want. screencaps, links, videos: it's gonna be a mess served hot ("& girl, you been serving it more than mcdonald's", in the words of ms. j). also i'll probably be sitting in an actual mcdo's as i update so i guess it's apropos.

& that's all! keep your eyes open & your legs spread ~
<3